


We Dance On

by Unknown_Writer



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Daisy is protective, Dancing, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, References To Canon Suicide Attempt, Thomas & Daisy friendship, Thomas can't handle crying women, Thomas does have a heart, Thomas doesn't understand women, badly kept secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 21:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17906195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unknown_Writer/pseuds/Unknown_Writer
Summary: Dancing had always been something Thomas had loved.Dancing was what had drawn him and Daisy together.Maybe dancing will also be the catalyst for drawing Thomas closer to the rest of downstairs.





	We Dance On

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the show or characters.

It had never really meant to be a secret, and yet that was exactly what it had turned out to be. It was funny considering how secrets never really lasted long in the house and even a hint of one was sniffed out in record time.

And yet, it had been over a decade and no one had caught on.

The first time had been in front of everyone, before the war when he and Daisy had shared a dance in the servant’s hall. It had been one which he had always regretted as it had been for the wrong reasons, trying to make William jealous.

It had been the last time they danced together until after the war.

Their next dance hadn’t been public.

The next dance they had both needed. It held an innocence their first dance hadn’t.

 A comfort they both needed.

_‘Daisy? That you?’ Thomas’ voice broke through the darkness that cloaked the courtyard. The crying was hastily held back as though someone was embarrassed to have been caught, but the sniffs gave away where it was coming from. Taking a deep drag of his cigarette, Thomas followed the noise and sat down beside the crying girl who was trying to wipe her tears with her apron._

_‘Thomas. What are you doing here?’ Daisy hiccupped, doing her best to look older than she was. Thomas gestured with his cigarette, trying his best to look his usual calm and collected self but Daisy could tell he was panicking. ‘I’m fine, don’t worry, just something in my eye.’ She gave him a way out._

_Thomas didn’t take it though, and instead gingerly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and patted her on the back like she was a grenade about to explode. Daisy immediately turned into the shoulder next to her, burying her face and a few more tears escaped. They didn’t last long though as she instead gave way to laughing as Thomas’ far too stiff frame and most awkward stilted ‘there, there’ he said in between hurried puffs of his cigarette._

_‘Thank you Thomas.’ She leaned back and had to laugh at his affronted expression at her reaction to his comfort. ‘Really, thank you. I don’t know many who would have stayed finding me.’ Daisy added more seriously._

_‘Don’t mention it. Really.’ Thomas added, shaping his face back to his normal façade. ‘Is it William?’_

_‘William and so many others. Just so much death recently, I just-‘ Daisy shook her head as she cut herself off not knowing how to finish the sentence._

_‘I know. It’s why I come here, it’s quiet and the dead sometimes settle, other times it’s deafening.’ Thomas admitted not knowing why he was talking about it. He much preferred to keep everything bottled up, but his defences had been badly battered over the last few years._

_‘Did you lose a lot of people?’ Daisy asked timidly, as though afraid to spook him. Thomas gave a sharp nod._

_‘Most medics I knew, soldiers, everyone. Some were friends, others you’d see one day then their corpse the next.’ Daisy gave a shiver and Thomas regretted saying so much and instead focused his gaze on his hand, doing his best to clench and un clench it but wincing at the raw pain that still throbbed._

_‘I thought Medics would be safe? You were there to help people.’ Thomas snorted at Daisy’s comment._

_‘So did I, so did a lot of us. I liked helping people, I can’t stand violence,’ Thomas gave a bitter laugh at his statement considering how much violence he had seen. ‘Turns out Germans don’t care about a little cross on your uniform. We were unarmed targets running around No Man’s Land collecting the injured and dying.’_

_‘You were very brave.’_

_‘I’m really not.’ Thomas couldn’t look at her and physically turned his body away. He couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was never going to say anything, he couldn’t. He may still be put in prison for what he had done, people like him were looked down on. He was an idiot for letting it slip._

_Daisy was silent for a minute though she never moved from his side. ‘I think you were very brave. You joined up very early.’_

_‘To avoid being fired,’ Thomas pointed out._

_‘You didn’t have to join up, you could have just left. You became someone who wanted to help others and you risked your life for others. You probably saved a lot of lives and saw a lot of bad things I can’t even imagine.’_

_‘I never want you to.’ Thomas whispered, impressed with her maturity and surety in what she was saying._

_‘I don’t blame you for getting injured deliberately. You don’t like violence and yet you stayed there so long to help people and you are no quitter no matter what you say. It must have been truly awful for you to need to do something like that. I don’t blame you, you are brave to me and you always will be.’ Daisy insisted, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. ‘Besides, for you to damage your looks it must have been bad.’ She added causally, eyeing him mischievously as she waited for the barb to strike._

_‘Daisy! How dare you! Are you saying I am vain?’ Thomas exclaimed, his mouth dropping open before the two of them dissolved into laughter. ‘Thank you. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.’_

_The silence between them descended again as their thoughts took over and the weight of their grief rested back on their shoulders._

_‘Can you show me another dance?’ Daisy finally broke the silence. She needed anything to take away from the grief, they both did, they needed a connection, a human connection to tether them._

_‘Daisy.’ Thomas paused knowing this wasn’t a good idea. ‘I am not a good person to be soft on. I am not a good or nice person and I will hurt you.’_

_‘I know you don’t like me that way, and as embarrassed as I am, I’ll admit I was soft on you. That isn’t what I want. I just want to dance, to feel like I am connected to someone. Remind me I’m alive, that we’re here. I need someone who understands that. I want a friend not romance.’_

_‘As long as you understand I look at you as a sister and I can never love you romantically.’ Thomas warned her, knowing she would never understand the hint he had dropped._

_‘And I look at you as a brother Thomas. I don’t want romance for a very long time after everything that’s gone on.’_

_‘Okay, come on.’ Thomas stood up and then pulled Daisy to her feet and he took her in his arms, before slowly showing her the steps they would take. It didn’t take long for Daisy to get the hang of the dance and they could lose themselves in the steps and taking comfort from someone else. It was soothing and grounding._

_It was what they both needed._

_‘You need to be careful of me Daisy, I won’t be nice to you and I will be cruel and I will probably make you cry at some point. I’m not a nice person.’ There was something about the energy between them that made Thomas honest, a secure atmosphere that made him want her to be warned about him._

_‘You are nice when you want to be. You can be nice if and when you choose, I know it. You’re just scared and angry.’ Daisy replied in the same low tones. ‘I am warned though and I can make my own choices, no matter what Mrs Patmore says.’ Thomas had to smile at the young woman’s defiance._

_‘I will try and respect that.’ Thomas agreed, and hoped he wouldn’t let her down, but knowing he most likely would._

_The dance continued on, neither wanting to stop the slow movement, happy to just be in the moment. No death, no grief, just some peace for a little while._

It hadn’t been their last dance, though at the time they had both assumed it would have been. Instead, it had become a game to them. When no one was around, they would choose a new dance to try, sometimes learning together, sometimes Thomas passing on dances he already knew. They passed the book of dances back and forth, never letting anyone else seeing what they were doing, marking up pages they wanted to try and leaving it hidden in the boot room where no one ever looked. It had been fun and strange friendship had blossomed between them. It was one not even Miss O’Brien had picked up on, much to Thomas’ amusement.

Their relationship to everyone else though hadn’t changed, and as Thomas had predicted, he wasn’t always nice to Daisy and he was pretty sure he had made her cry, not that she would ever admit it to him. Their dance time though, they talked, sometimes about serious things; the state of the country, her fears with Mr Mason, his fears over his job. Sometimes it was about nonsense; things from upstairs that made them roll their eyes, the Dowagers scathing remarks that cracked Daisy up and things they had seen or read they thought the other may like. It worked between them, even when Daisy had scared the living daylights out of him with her conversation.

 

_‘Is this because you’re lavender?’ Daisy asked innocently, as though it didn’t make Thomas’ world drop._

_‘What? Where did you hear that? What are you talking about?’ Thomas threw out the questions, his eyes wide in horror. Daisy just rolled her eyes._

_‘One of the visiting maids told me when they saw me looking at you one day. I told them I didn’t care for you that way that you were a friend. She just said it were a shame because she would have had you down the aisle in heartbeat, those were her words not mine’ Daisy clarified, not slowing down one bit in her words even as Thomas felt as though he was having a heart attack, and not about the disturbing revelation about that maid._

_It was a lot later that tidbit hit Thomas and much to Daisy’s amusement he spent a lot of time and effort making sure he was never alone with any of the maids. It wasn’t paranoia if people really were out to get to you._

_‘I don’t know why Mrs Patmore didn’t just tell me instead of telling me you were wrong for me and that I had no taste in men.’ Daisy added with a careless shrug._

_‘Daisy, you can’t know about this. You can’t tell anyone about this, it’s wrong, it’s a sin, it’s illegal.’ Thomas choked out staring at her in horror._

_‘I’m not going to tell anyone Thomas, I know it’s illegal. I just don’t see why its wrong. You’re only loving someone. I don’t understand it, why you feel that way but you are a good man Thomas and if this is who you are, then I can’t see it being bad.’ Daisy stated decisively. ‘Are we going to dance?’ Grateful for the change on conversation, Thomas took it._

_‘Thank you Daisy. I really don’t know what to say except, thank you.’ Thomas whispered in her ear as they danced._

_‘Your secret is always safe with me Thomas.’ Daisy whispered back and the conversation was not spoken of again until the incident with Jimmy many years later._

_Daisy always kept her promise though._

The novelty of slipping into the courtyard for their time together faded slightly as they lived in fear of being caught. It was Daisy who found an answer though one day when she was shopping in town. A local dance hall.

It took a little bit of planning to make sure their half days lined up, then the fun and intrigue of catching the same bus without anyone suspecting. The hall was as good as they hoped and they had the freedom of more space and a place to relax. They were careful never to drink too much so people suspected something was going on, but then they had come for the dancing and neither wanted to ruin their coordination by becoming drunk. They also learned new dances and the thrill was reborn.

They went once or twice a month to York, slipping out in the evenings, normally with an excuse of doing something different, or waiting until once again their days matched, and they had much more free time to enjoy themselves. Their skills grew over the years, and to their surprise there was never even a whisper of their friendship or time spent together.

Sometimes they didn’t go for a while, events cropped up on them such as visitors, other times they went to the courtyard more often as way of relieving stress and tension. Thomas heard a lot about Alfred from Daisy, first on her crush, then on her anger with Ivy and finally back to just being angry and Jimmy and Alfred.

_‘It’s not fair, what does he even see in her anyways?’_

_‘I wish I could give you answers Daisy.’_

_‘He tried to get me to teach him to foxtrot so he could dance with her. Jimmy took over but he weren’t much better.’_

_‘He sounds as bad as me using you against William.’_

_‘Nah, you weren’t so bad, and at least you can dance.’_

_‘I think I’ll take the compliment.’ Thomas gave a small smile at his joke and Daisy shook her head at him._

_‘Boys are daft.’ Daisy sighed._

_‘Boys are daft.’ Thomas echoed in agreement._

Thomas had also vented a lot about Alfred just being handed the job he had worked and battled so hard to have, then Miss O’Brien just handed it to her nephew.

_‘Why can’t she just see it isn’t fair he should just come in and take a job I gave so much to get. If she just let him learn the basics, then work up to being a valet I would understand but she just wants shortcuts.’_

_‘It isn’t right, we all had to start at the bottom. She just wants to show she’s better than all of us. I don’t think Alfred is working with her.’ Thomas had to smile at Daisy’s defence even while agreeing with him._

_‘Nah, he’s too daft for that. Good in the kitchen but still got a long way to go before he’s a decent footman.’_

_‘Just don’t do anything to make Miss O’Brien mad, she ain’t one you want to cross.’ Daisy looked worried now and Thomas wished he could reassure her more._

_‘I think it’s too late for that. I don’t think I can back down from this.’ Thomas admitted knowing his own faults._

_‘Just be careful then. I don’t want you getting hurt.’ Daisy pleaded. ‘Jimmy will never be as good dancer as you.’_

_Thomas did laugh and decided to show off with some more complex moves that Daisy easily matched him with._

The next year had been hard.

It wasn’t as though they hadn’t known up and downs before, but with the venom Jimmy had spat towards Thomas in his efforts to show he wasn’t like him, it had brought Thomas down. Daisy had been very impressed with the way Thomas had handled it all.

She hadn’t realised what had happened for a long while until she had finally confronted Thomas about the incident. They hadn’t danced that night, and in an about turn, she had held him while he cried in her arms for the loss of a friendship and the constant reminder of his mistake.

She hadn’t been surprised by Mrs Hughes kindness and understanding with Thomas. There was a quality about the housekeeper that reminded Daisy of a mother watching over her babies and keeping them from harm. She knew Thomas certainly saw her as a mother, though she suspected he would deny it until his dying breath.

_It had only been a few days since the incident at the cricket grounds. It had taken a lot for Daisy to get out of Thomas all of the details of what had happened but a swift combination of doe eyes, pleading and slipping him chocolate had brought the man to his knees._

_Mrs Patmore would be so proud._

_It would be another week until she caught him outside crying from a particularly vicious jab from Jimmy._

_She pulled the tray from the oven and set the next batch of biscuits to cool hoping no one else saw what she was doing. These were very special biscuits and no one else was going to steal one. It was still early, and with Mrs Patmore having a day off Daisy was on her own to set up for the morning so it was perfect time to get them ready._

_She had just managed to get the last biscuit into a tin she had prepared earlier when Thomas appeared, yawning but still perfectly put together. As if he was ever seen any other way._

_‘Wow, those smell nice,’ Thomas’ hand crept towards the tin and Daisy instantly slapped his hand away._

_‘Those are for Mrs Hughes.’ Daisy scolded him and put the lid on tightly before tucking them in a cupboard she knew no one else would go into. ‘They’re her favourites.’_

_‘Can we put in requests for our favourites then?’ Thomas perked up looking very interested. Daisy rolled her eyes, it was no secret that Thomas had a sweet tooth and that it was good idea to always make extras whenever he was around the kitchen._

_‘No, they are a thank you for her taking care of my big brother.’ The emotion that flickered through Thomas’ face made Daisy’s heart hurt that he still found kind gestures to be so unusual._

_She really needed to spoil him more._

_‘Thank you Daisy. Thank you.’ Thomas couldn’t look at her eyes as his face darted everywhere but on her in an effort to keep his composure. She wasn’t at all offended when he left the kitchen, heading to the table where breakfast would be served and instead began to smoke. It was what he needed._

_Daisy had thought she was being subtle with the biscuits, spreading them out over the week, always including them with Mrs Hughes cup of tea. She had to take great care no one else saw them or else they would have been gone within minutes and she wasn’t prepared for anyone but Mrs Hughes to have them._

_‘Daisy, I was happy to help him. There is no need for all of this for me. I know no one else is getting the special treatment.’ Mrs Hughes smiled at Daisy as she brought in Mrs Hughes tea to her sitting room._

_Of course she had underestimated Mrs Hughes._

_‘I don’t know what you mean. I just thought you needed a treat.’ Daisy shifted uneasily, knowing she wasn’t selling the lie._

_‘I appreciate the gesture. You do make these so lovely and they truly are a treat, but between you spoiling me and Mr Barrow changing every flower in the house to my favourites, I am becoming one spoiled lady.’_

_‘He really did that!’ Daisy looked startled before trying to control her giggling. Mrs Hughes rolled her eyes but Daisy could tell she was overjoyed._

_‘That man can do anything when he sets his mind to it. Every single display, vase and arrangement. All my favourites, though I have no idea how he figured that out or slipped it past Mr Carson.’ She shook her head in amusement._

_‘I just wanted you to know how much it meant to him, to both of us you helping him.’ Daisy looked bashful._

_‘I know you two are a lot closer than anyone else thinks Daisy.’_

_‘We aren’t courting or anything,’ Daisy instantly protested and Mrs Hughes held her hands up._

_‘Oh I know that, and if you know how I helped him I suspect you know everything about Mr Barrow.’ While the words weren’t said, Daisy understood the meaning and nodded._

_‘He’s like an older brother to me.’ Daisy shrugged._

_‘And you dance beautifully together. I always enjoy watching you whenever I can.’ Mrs Hughes admitted._

_‘You know about that? We’re just dancing!’ Daisy hurriedly added._

_‘Oh I know that. It’s good for the both of you. You both always look much more relaxed afterwards and it keeps him from plotting too much.’_

_‘I try,’ Daisy admitted. ‘Thank you for looking out for my brother Mrs Hughes. I don’t know where he would be without the both of us?’ Mrs Hughes smiled._

_‘In a lot more trouble than we could ever imagine.’ Mrs Hughes predicted causing them both to break out into giggles._

_The door swung open and Thomas looked in his expression of someone who was about to say something but changed his mind as the two women only laughed harder. He shook his head and muttered something neither heard as he strode away._

Maybe the secret hadn’t been as well kept as they had both first thought, but they knew their secret was safe with Mrs Hughes. Nothing was ever pried from her lips.

It was strange, after so many years of spending time together, dancing and talking that they seemed to drift apart. There were too many reasons, mostly not good enough excuses, but with Daisy studying harder than ever, Thomas retreated. He found himself growing more paranoid, unhappy and lonely especially after Jimmy left. Daisy’s distraction meant the time they spent together grew less and Thomas struggled to reconnect with Miss Baxter, too afraid to trust her, connect with her.

It took Daisy years to find out about the treatment Thomas took, and a long time to forgive herself for not seeing how bad Thomas had been, no matter how often he told her he never blamed her. It had been his own choice, his own mistake.

Thomas’ slide was gradual to begin with before skidding faster and faster as he felt the pressure of needing a new job, of failing to connect with Andy and no matter how much Miss Baxter supported him he found he was too numb to feel the love he knew she was giving him.

The dancing had fallen away as Thomas found excuses not to go outside. He felt himself retreating as he felt every barb, whisper and taunt stabbing him deeper and deeper until he finally found a way to escape.

Daisy’s hysterical sobbing as she hugged the life out him had scared him far more than the razor and blood in the bath tub. She had begged him to never do anything like that again, a promise he could easily make. If he was honest, she had scared him so much he would have promised her anything.

Somehow he suspected Miss Baxter knew that by her sudden desire to look anywhere else.

Miss Baxter had received her favourite cake with her tea for quite a while after Daisy had intimidated Thomas into telling her everything. Miss Baxter had been shyly pleased and then began to share them with everyone, especially Thomas and Daisy.

It had surprised no one.

Daisy had gained a sister in Miss Baxter as the two of them became as thick as thieves and Thomas had found another source of fear.

Sisters who talked to each other and planned his life, laughed when he entered the room and shared a smile that gave him nightmares.

Bates had never laughed harder at the situation whenever Thomas used him as protection from the ladies, but kept Thomas pleased smile a secret.

He hadn’t been up to dancing after his suicide attempt, or flu as Daisy had thought, but they had begun their talks again. Mrs Hughes had practically forced the two of them together with her less than subtle hints that made Miss Baxter smile, Mr Bates look confused and went over everyone else’s heads.

Their writing to one another had helped after Thomas had to leave Downton. He found he had a good circle of friends, Miss Baxter, Daisy, Mrs Hughes and to his delight, the children.

His return had been wonderful. He couldn’t remember being happier and from the looks he was getting from everyone else, it seemed he wasn’t alone in his happiness.

The dancing had started back a few days later. Daisy had decided to move to the farm but was going to wait until the weather warmed a bit more, giving Mr Mason a little time to get used to the idea of sharing a house again and Daisy prepared for the move.

It was another month before they first found the leaflet.

_‘Thomas, have you seen this?’ Daisy looked mischievous as she passed Thomas the paper after hurriedly making sure no one else was around in the corridor. Reading through the leaflet, Thomas felt the corners of his mouth lift, it sounded interesting._

_‘You think we could?’ He was a little unsure of himself. It was something he was trying to allow himself to do, show weakness in front of others. As the Butler, he was confident in his duties, never faltering, but as a friend, he was trying to change. Trying to be better._

_‘We’ll need to practice, and could you imagine Mr Carson if he knew!’_

_‘Mr Barrow and Daisy, that is not appropriate behaviour for a member of this house.’ Daisy looked at him in horror._

_‘Please don’t do that again, that is creepy.’ Thomas just grinned evilly causing her to shudder._

_‘I don’t think we should tell anyone, and it’s in York so we’d need to take our half day then, but why not.’ Thomas reread the flyer and made a decision._

_‘An actual dance competition.’ Daisy looked at it in amazement. ‘I need to go and find something to wear. What do you wear for this kind of thing?’_

_‘It says here there are competitions elsewhere. Why don’t we go and see one of them, have an idea what we should practice?’ Thomas suggested and mentally began planning the rota to allow them to go and explore._

_‘Daisy, are you day dreaming? Come on, we’ve got a lunch to prepare, honestly.’ Mrs Patmore’s voice interrupted the two of them. Sharing a rueful smile, they dispersed back to their jobs._

It hadn’t taken them long to find the first dance competition. It was free to watch but if you wanted to enter the contest it was a shilling to enter; Thomas had already paid for his and Daisy’s entry for their contest the next month.

The only difficulty he had found was that people were noticing more what he was doing and starting to ask him about his day and where he was going. Sneaking out, or rather sneaking off to places was certainly a lot harder then it used to be.

He had started to wonder if they were in league with each other? Maybe this was their way of keeping an eye on him to make sure he really had left his old ways behind him.

Or he really could just be paranoid.

Option one sounded much more likely.

Or it did until he mentioned it to Daisy who rolled her eyes, ruffled his hair, which forced him to go back and redo his hair for half an hour, while lecturing him on how asking after someone wasn’t checking up on someone, it was part of being a friend.

They had finally managed it though, each leaving at different times, with different errands and talking about different towns.

And she mocked him for his paranoia. Their secret keeping was getting out of control.

They would put spies to shame with the levels they were going to, and all for a local dance competition.

Nope, not getting out of control at all.

_Slipping into the club, Thomas and Daisy were not surprised to find it full. It seemed this was going to be far more popular than they had thought._

_‘C’mon, I can see a space there.’ Daisy grabbed Thomas’ hand and pulled him through the crowd. It seemed all that stirring and baking had certainly given the young woman some muscles he hadn’t expected as he tried to keep up with her._

_‘Are you okay, do you want a drink?’ Thomas asked as he removed his hat, Daisy also removed hers as they settled in their nook._

_‘No I’m too nervous. Is that them? Over there?’ Thomas peered over the shoulders of others to where Daisy was pointing at the group of people who were streaming out of a back room, dressed in their Sunday best._

_‘I think so.’_

_‘They’re so glamourous. I’ve got nothing like that. I’m going to look like a right frump compared to all of them.’ Daisy’s face fell as she looked at the dresses everyone was wearing, a serious case of envy coming over her._

_‘You will look amazing no matter what you wear.’ Thomas reassured her, ‘They’ll be looking at our dancing not what we wear.’ Daisy’s patronising smile told Thomas he hadn’t been as reassuring as he had hoped to be._

_He really didn’t understand women. He would have been tempted to ask Miss Baxter to explain what he had done wrong, but he feared her knowing look and indulgent smile as though he was still a child asking a question he should know the answer to._

_Women._

_Thomas was pulled from his thoughts as saw movement by a small stage in front of the crowd, the tension started to build, and the room seemed to buzz as a tall man bounded up the steps with an enthusiasm that only heightened the crowd’s excitement._

_‘Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to our first dance competition. We will be hosting our show across Yorkshire to find the best dancers with a chance to win £10!’ The cheers were deafening and even Thomas and Daisy got into the spirit of the competition._

_‘Wow, that’s a fortune!’ Daisy whispered excitedly, and it seemed she wasn’t the only one impressed with the idea of so much money._

_‘We shall have four rounds, and each time people will be eliminated, so if you feel a tap on your shoulder, please leave the dance floor and allow the other couples to continue. We will halve the numbers each round until the last round where you will be eliminated until there is one couple left. Everyone understand the rules?’ The host explained, and from the scream of yes, he assumed they were ready to begin._

_The music started slowly and the floor was filled the entrants doing there best to show off the best dance skills they had._

_Thomas and Daisy could immediately spot the people who would not be going to the second round, and exchanged conspiring smiles when they found they were right. Others though were good, very good and neither were surprised as they easily passed to the next round._

_‘Are you sure we’re at this standard?’ Daisy turned to Thomas, for the first time looking like they had got in over their heads. Thomas bit his lip and didn’t answer immediately._

_‘Maybe we aren’t, but we love to dance don’t we? Lets just have fun. Who cares if we win or not?’_

_‘I like that, lets just have fun.’ Daisy agreed before settling back to watching the dancers._

They may have decided just to see what happened but they were both competitive enough to not want to be excluded during the first round. The competition had gotten stiffer and stiffer as the evening had progressed until the final couple was left to dance on.

It had certainly given them ideas on which dances they needed to polish and what it seemed the judges had been looking for.

The evening had also given Thomas an idea of one more thing he needed to do before the big night.

_‘Anna, could I have a word with you before you go?’ Thomas caught the Bates’ as they looked as though they were about to start heading home with their young son in his pram. They exchanged a look that Thomas didn’t even hope to decipher. Married talk was far beyond him._

_At Anna’s hesitation, he waved her off, embarrassment flooding him at his impulse for her advice. ‘Don’t worry about it, sorry to trouble you. I’ll see you tomorrow, have a nice evening.’ He blurted out and beat a hasty retreat to his office._

_Flicking the catalogue open again, he held his breath for a moment, then released it slowly. He could do this, he knew fashion. He knew what would look good on people. He...was unsure and he hated that feeling. So engrossed he didn’t even notice that his door had opened and Anna slipped inside and was peering over his shoulder._

_‘That’s pretty. I didn’t take you for liking dresses?’ Anna’s voice teased. Thomas flailed, his heart shooting out of his chest as he gave a yelp that he would categorically deny ever making._

_‘Ha ha,’ Thomas retorted deadpan as he finally recognised what Anna had said and calmed himself enough to answer, causing Anna to laugh._

_‘It’s pretty,’ Anna offered but it wasn’t enough for Thomas._

_‘Is it fashionable? Something a young lady would like to receive? Not something she smiles at but wonders what they were thinking when they bought it?’ At the real concern in Thomas’ voice, Anna looked at him kindly._

_‘Any woman would be thrilled to receive that dress. It is a bit expensive though Thomas, this is something a girl you were courting might receive.’ Anna added delicately and Thomas blushed and looked away._

_‘That is not my intention, I just wanted to make her feel beautiful and I thought that one.’ Thomas admitted quietly._

_‘Do they know about you?’ Anna looked at him seriously and Thomas nodded._

_‘She knows there will never be a romance between us. I just…’ he trailed off not knowing how to explain himself. Anna didn’t press him and instead started flicking through the catalogue._

_‘Who is it for?’ At Thomas’ reluctant expression Anna huffed slightly. ‘Unless you know her measurements you are going to have problems ordering anything, especially if it comes up small.’_

_‘Daisy.’ Thomas finally answered knowing she had a point and to his surprise, Anna didn’t ask for any more details, just nodded and continued her flicking._

_‘How about this one, a little more reasonable price but just as beautiful. If she needs it adjusted I can certainly take care of that.’ Thomas couldn’t help but smile. He trusted Anna’s opinion, after all, who was better than a Ladies Maid to know fashion for women?_

_‘Thank you, and it’s just as good?’_

_‘She will love it, I promise.’ Anna immediately agreed, and with Thomas’ permission filled out the order form for him._

_‘Thank you Anna, it means a lot to me.’_

_‘Thank you for asking Thomas.’_

Anna had of course been correct. He had received the parcel the following week and was very pleased with the quality of the dress. He had shown it to Anna who examined every piece of it before giving it her approval.

The squeals of joy from Daisy had been heard down in the servants hall causing much concern someone was injured.

When she had come down in the dress, he was thankful he had taken Anna’s advice as she looked beautiful. Her confidence shone as she twirled and giggled over the dress with Miss Baxter, Anna and Mrs Hughes.

He would only realise a lot later on that everyone knew he had bought it for her and that his fear of Andy being upset would never come true.

He had slipped off to his office to read for a while to escape the fashion talk he knew would follow but hadn’t been surprised when Daisy had come in just before she went to bed to thank him.

_‘It’s beautiful Thomas, I don’t know how to thank you, or repay you for this.’ Daisy had gushed before darting in for a tight hug that Thomas had been too slow to avoid in his bashfulness at Daisy’s enthusiasm._

_‘I don’t know what you mean. It must have been from Andy.’ Thomas instantly denied, unsure what to do with someone who was grateful to him. Her look was one of disbelief._

_‘I love Andy but he has no fashion sense, and he certainly wouldn’t think to buy me a dress for a competition he knows nothing about. He’s a lovely lad but this is much more your doing.’ Daisy shook her head at the man in front of her but wasn’t surprised by his reaction. ‘You don’t have to do anything except say you’re welcome.’_

_‘You’re welcome,’ Thomas obediently replied. ‘You should probably thank Anna as well, she made sure you didn’t get the courtship dress.’_

_Daisy’s laughter was more than worth it._

Sitting down heavily on his bed, Thomas placed his head in his arms and reminded himself to breathe. It had been a long time since he had danced with an audience. The club always felt anonymous in the crowds, but now all eyes would be on them, scrutinising them, judging them. How was he going to get through it all?

When he thought about all that had brought him here, it was hard to remember this had all started with them offering each other comfort. Events played through his mind, and yet in none of them could he remember being this nervous as his stomach churned and roiled in protest at the thought of tonight. He didn’t get stage fright. He was Thomas Barrow, he was above that.

Wasn’t he?

A knock at the door gave him a start and jolted him back to the present.

‘Come in,’ he called out and was surprised to see Andy at the door, in his livery looking expectantly at him. ‘Andy? Everything alright? Do I need to stay?’ Thomas stood quickly, very aware he was in his shirt and trousers, his braces hanging by his side and his tie, waistcoat and jacket were still on his chair waiting to be put on.

‘No Mr Barrow, Daisy just asked me to make sure you were ready to go otherwise you’ll miss your bus.’ Andy eyed the clothing knowing full well Thomas wasn’t ready.

‘Give me a moment Andy, I’m nearly there,’ Thomas reassured the other man, though from the sceptical look he was given, he was largely unsuccessful.

Taking the initiative Andy came fully into the room and handed Thomas his tie and raised his eyebrows in challenge to put it on.

Really, who was the Butler in the house?

Thomas obeyed though and pulled his braces up before accepting and putting on the waistcoat and jacket. He hoped he would measure up to Daisy, but it was the best suit he owned. Knowing the tickets to the dance was in his pocket as well as some money for them to have a drink and some food beforehand, he picked up his hat and followed Andy out of his room, closing the door behind him.

‘Thank you Andy, I’m fine now.’

‘Nope, Daisy said I have to escort you to her or she will, well, it wasn’t pleasant,’ Andy cheerfully told Thomas as they walked down the stairs together, only leaving after handing Thomas off to Daisy by the back door.

‘Thank you for that Daisy,’ Thomas remarked dryly, ‘You look lovely.’ He complimented her. The dress looked amazing, even as she covered it with her coat and pulled on her hat. Her hair was done up simply and went well with her whole look.

‘Thank you Thomas.’ Daisy eyed him up and down, then obviously giving her approval, held out her arm for him to take. He wasn’t going to even think about what would have happened if she hadn’t approved. It was his best suit, and he was very thankful the colour complimented Daisy’s dress.

They hurried out of the back door cringing slightly at the strong wind that caught them as they shut the door. Thomas pulled Daisy around so she was shielded from the worst part of the bluster, his other hand holding onto his hat. It must have been nerves getting to them as they were silent as they walked to the bus stop, but it was a comfortable silence.

It was less comfortable by the time they arrived at the club. They had eaten a nice dinner at the nearby pub, and no matter how nervous they had been, Daisy had managed to bring him more out of his shell with her chatter and direct questions, a feat he was very impressed by.

They had needed to arrive early to be able to get ready, and as they had predicted, it was very full. There were a lot of contestants wanting to take part, and it seemed space was a premium. Thomas dragged Daisy over to a gap he found and hung up their hats and coats on the wall before elbowing themselves a space by the mirror.

Thomas was pleased to see his pomade had held, there wasn’t a strand of hair out of place and his suit was impeccable. He could have happily served the family at that moment.

Daisy wasn’t so lucky. Her dress didn’t have a spot on it but her hair, Thomas inwardly cringed. As a former Valet he would have been ashamed to put his name to how she looked.

‘I can’t go out like this!’ Daisy looked close to tears at the sight of her hair.

‘Don’t panic, we can sort this, really we can.’ Thomas hurried to reassure her, guiding Daisy to a free chair and pulled out a hair brush and hair pins he had packed as an emergency measure. He had just never expected to use them.

‘Can you even do ladies hair Thomas?’ Daisy wasn’t calmed at all.

‘I had, have a sister who loved to play dress up with me. Phyllis, Miss Baxter, was just as bad as her, but they taught me how to do girls hairstyles.’ Thomas admitted, sharing a small tidbit about his past. The small breadcrumb worked as Daisy lit up at the new information. ‘I will deny any of what I just said to my dying day, you understand.’ He tried to look intimidating, but it seemed Daisy was completely immune to him as she ignored his threat.

‘You knew Miss Baxter as a child?’

‘I did, she hasn’t changed at all. She was the sweetest, kindest person I had ever known. She didn’t mind me being there when she was playing with my sister, and she played with me. Babysat me quite a few times as well.’ Thomas tried his best, brushing out the windswept and frizzy hair before plaiting and sweeping up the hair. It would have been far easier if her hair had been longer as it used to be and he had a suspicion his hairstyle was most likely either very old fashioned or very childish. Possibly both. Men’s hair was so much easier, but it wasn’t as though he could just use a lot of pomade and call it done.

The look on Daisy’s face, the look of disappointment but trying not to show it as she caught her hair in the mirror really only sealed it. Where was Anna or Miss Baxter when you needed them?

‘Mr Barrow, Daisy, we wanted to-oh dear.’ Anna’s voice came from behind, startling the two of them. Thomas was caught between shock he had been found and relief Anna would be able to sort out the problem.

‘I think that was a hairstyle I wore as a child?’ Fantastic, Miss Baxter was there as well to see his creation.

‘Yes, um, how about we take over Mr Barrow and let you get ready.’ Anna used some tact to make up for her slip earlier, but Thomas decided he would take help where he could. ‘Miss Baxter?’

Phyllis took the brush and pins from Thomas and the two ladies began a hair styling frenzy that Thomas gave up trying to follow.

‘Why are you here? How did you know we were here?’ Thomas asked finally, his curiosity getting the better of him. The two ladies exchanged an amused look.

‘You weren’t very subtle Thomas.’ Phyllis answered. ‘You were always slipping off to practice your dancing, so I slipped Daisy the leaflet about the competition. I thought you would enjoy it.’

‘Really? I did too.’ Anna admitted.

‘That does explain how I had so many leaflets. I thought I had just kept picking them up when I was in town and forgetting about it.’ Daisy pondered and Thomas shook his head.

‘I thought no one knew about our hobby?’

‘Really Thomas, everyone knows everything downstairs, it is the worst kept secret among us. Well, I guess apart from you two not knowing.’ Anna grinned before she and Miss Baxter leaned back and showed Daisy their handiwork. The smile on Daisy’s face was a relief to Thomas, they had made her happy again.

It was more than a little bit of jolt though to realise the big secret they had thought they had kept from everyone wasn’t a secret after all. They had been so determined not to be caught, they had ignored the signs that said they already had been.

‘There you are, all ready now. You can make Downton proud, we’re all here to support you.’ Phyllis told them, and Thomas could feel the blood draining form his face.

‘Everyone?’ He croaked, and from Daisy’s ashen expression, he wasn’t the only one thinking it.

‘Of course, we couldn’t let our Butler and Cook do this on their own. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.’

‘We probably aren’t going to win, wouldn’t that let the House down?’ Daisy bit her lip nervously.

‘Not a chance. You are both very good, and we’ll cheer whether you win or lose. Just have fun.’ Anna reassured them. One of the people running the competition came into the back room at that moment and firmly ushered everyone who wasn’t competing out to the main hall. A quick set of good byes and good lucks and Daisy and Thomas were on their own in a room full of complete strangers.

The butterflies were worse than ever.

Servants blank, servants blank, servants blank Thomas mentally chanted, he could do this. He couldn’t let Daisy down. He couldn’t let the house down. He could do this.

They were led out into the main hall, just as they had watched at the other contest and listened to an identical speech being given. The cheer was much more intimidating form this side of the hall and the crowds felt thicker and far more judgemental. Thomas scanned the crowds and soon found the Downton representatives.

Phyllis and Anna hadn’t been joking when she said they had all come to support them. He found the ladies easily along with Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson, next to them stood Mr Bates and Mr Moseley along with Andy, Mrs Patmore and Mr Mason. He could only assume the hall boy was looking after the House this evening as everyone else was here.

His eyes drifted on and then he felt a true sense of intimidation. They may not have been wearing their finest, but to him he would recognise them anywhere. Lady Mary, Mr Talbot and Tom were also in the crowds, doing their best to blend in as much as they could. He gave a weak smile and a tiny nod he wasn’t sure they would see.

Thomas was not going to tell Daisy until afterwards, no need to add more pressure.

‘We’re going to have fun.’

‘Fun.’ Daisy agreed, her face serious even if it still hadn’t recovered all of its colour.

They stepped into the hall and found their places, holding the position until the music started.

It was the first round, they could do this. They could dance. They would be in the next round.

The music started and the world melted away.

If you had asked him, Thomas would never be able to say what music had played that night as the world became a blur. He kept his focus on Daisy, and solely on her as the music went from song to song.

The tap on the shoulder never came.

As the last note played, they came to a stop and instantly their eyes darted around the room. The shouts and screams were deafening and it was then they realised they were the only ones who had still been dancing.

Where had everyone else gone?

‘We won.’ Daisy whispered, but the words didn’t mean anything to Thomas. Where was everyone else? ‘Thomas, we won!’ Daisy repeated, a look of overjoyed excitement coming over her before she gave Thomas one of her bear hugs. Thomas grunted in pain.

‘Congratulations to our brother and sister couple, Mrs Mason and Mr Barrow.’ The speaker who had announced the contest boomed into the microphone. Arms pulled and dragged the two of them to the stage, but to Thomas it still felt like he was in a dream, that there was a bubble around him and everything was muffled. He managed to smile and took his bow as they accepted the winning money and a small trophy, while Daisy also received a bouquet of flowers.

The screaming and cheering didn’t stop.

‘Thomas, here’s your coat.’ Phyllis’ voice came by his ear, and he snapped back to the moment, thanking her for her forethought and kindness. They had been bustled off stage back into the crowds and Thomas had just felt lost. He slipped on the offered coat and took his hat from her before noticing Daisy already had hers on and he hadn’t even seen her receiving them. He really was out of it tonight.

Daisy looked in her element, thanking people who came up to offer their congratulations and shaking their hands. He couldn’t have been prouder how she was dealing with all of the attention. Far better than he was as it seemed.

‘Barrow, Daisy, I wanted to say how impressed we all were with your performance this evening. Well done, it was a very deserved win.’ Lady Mary appeared from nowhere next to him, dressed as though she was about to leave as well. Mr Branson and Mr Talbot were stood behind her and offered their own congratulations. He quickly nudged Daisy but realised she had already spotted the Family and had focused all of her attention on them.

‘Thank you Milady. We were glad to do the House proud.’ Thomas murmured and from his side Daisy agreed.

‘We brought the cars with us so no need to catch the bus back.’ Tom offered, and Thomas couldn’t be more grateful. He was exhausted, the stress and exercise this evening had left him wrung out. He was certainly going to sleep well tonight.

It was the excuse they had all been waiting for as the rest of the downstairs joined them, handshakes, pats on the back and warm congratulations were thrown around even as they hustled out into the cold night air.

Thomas was most impressed Mr Carson had come as he knew the older man would no doubt disapprove, and was shocked when he offered a hand in congratulations. Maybe retirement was mellowing the man?

Not a chance Thomas decided. Just wait until he spotted a fleck on a piece of silver then the old Carson would be back in a flash.

The ride back was noisy with chatter, discussing the dresses they had seen, dance moves they wished they hadn’t and people they had recognised. While it hadn’t been the opulence and elegance of a high society event, people had made an effort in their Sunday best, and even Lady Mary commented a few times on some things she had enjoyed, much to the surprise of everyone in the car with her. She was sat in the back seat with Anna and Carson, stating there were far too many people not to move up a little and make sure Tom or Henry didn’t have to make a second trip.

It was certainly a night to remember.

Thomas had nearly made it back to his room when he finally made his decision. It was something he had thought about but had never really thought he would win to be able to make his plan come to fruition.

‘Mr Moseley, Andy, could I see you in my room a moment?’ The two men stopped from where they were about to enter their own rooms. Mr Moseley had decided to stay over at their request due to the lateness of the evening and Thomas was glad he could catch both of them at the same time.

Neither man argued, and did as he asked without question, much to his surprise. He fidgeted slightly as both men looked at him expectantly, but taking a deep breath, he began.

‘I want you both to take half of my winnings from this evening. I know at some point both of you are planning to ask Miss Baxter and Daisy to marry you, and I would like to help towards the cost of the ring or the dress, whatever you like.’

‘Mr Barrow, we can’t do that!’ Mr Mosely instantly protested, Andy following suit. Thomas held up his hands.

‘I insist. I have no family I ever contact, I will never marry, and I will never have children. Daisy and Phyllis are my sisters in every way but blood and I would like to be given the honour of doing this for them.’ There as a pause as the two men gave it a few moments thought. Andy was the first to break the silence.

‘I would be the one who is honoured,’ Andy stated. ‘I’m not sure we’re at the stage yet to be married, but maybe in a year or so I hope to be if she will have me. I thank you for everything, and I would be honoured one day to become your brother in law.’ Thomas could feel his eyes welling at the emotion he got from the simple speech. Unable to say anything, he held out a hand to Andy, shaking it in a true British show of emotion.

‘I wish I could be as eloquent and Andy, and I know we’ve held out differences, but I too would be honoured to be your brother in law.’ Mr Moseley added, shaking Thomas’ hand.

‘Thank you, thank you both.’

‘Just make sure you keep dancing with Daisy, I’m rubbish at it and I don’t want her skills to go to waste with me.’ Andy added, only partially joking.

‘Does this mean we need to have some dancing lessons Andy?’ Thomas grinned. ‘And don’t tell me you are too stupid for that.’

‘Yes Mr Barrow,’ Andy retorted cheekily.

It had taken a lot of work, but by the time of Andy and Daisy’s wedding, Thomas had managed to drill enough dances into Andy that he could almost hold his own against Daisy.

It was strange to think all those years ago of that first dance, pain and sadness mixed with an innocence of the time. Now, here they were dancing with friends and family and Thomas doing his best to teach master George and Miss Sybbie enough steps that his shoes stayed clean for the wedding and his feet unbruised. He was dancing with Anna and Phyllis, offering teasing critiques to their respected husbands about their dance styles, or in Mr Bates case, that he was going to have to steal Anna away as he was losing Daisy.

His arm was still bruised from Daisy before she told him in no uncertain terms was she giving up dancing with her brother. Her eyes had begun to get wet and looked as though she was about to cry, just as she had done that first night they had danced. This time though, he knew how to help her. How to support her and show he cared.

Grabbing Andy, he threw the groom at her and ran, ignoring the laughter and teasing from Phyllis and Anna and the tutting from Mrs Hughes and Mrs Patmore.

Family.

Can’t live with them, can’t dance without them, Thomas decided. That was something he couldn’t be happier about it.

He couldn’t tell what the future was going to hold, but he had a feeling this family wasn’t going anywhere.

 


End file.
